New Years

Have you ever felt defeated so many times it seemed pointless to try anymore? 

I remember the ups and downs, endless roller-coaster rides, and the trying and failing of embarking on a new journey. Eventually, I threw my hands in the air, “What’s the point?” “I’m not cut out for this.”

As a young adult, I’d set my target each new year. I was going to be a new person. I orchestrated many plans. I’d be a better wife, mom, housekeeper. I’d also be fit and eat healthy. What else could I add to my list of “do better?” I spent years being unkind and beating myself up with an all-or-nothing mindset. This mindset destroys progress.

Sadly, I almost gave up my dream of running a marathon, something I longed to accomplish. Each time I began a running program and life got in the way, which it always does, or the process felt too overwhelming since my goals were too big and moved too fast, I’d quit feeling like a failure. Once I learned baby steps and showed myself grace, I slowly progressed toward goals that mattered to me.

Don’t we all embrace lofty plans as we lunge into a new year with the idea, “New Year, new me?” Is falling and failing the problem? Is setting goals bad? I wish I could tell my young self and help her understand that failing and standing back up erect is the first step toward growth. But why did I give up and assume all was lost? 

The reality is those lofty ideas weren’t bad. My all-or-nothing mindset initiated defeat when I failed to do the giant life-changing thing perfectly. Perfection and inflexible thinking caused my defeat.

Whether I wanted to run a marathon, get a degree, start a business, or be a great mom and wife didn’t matter. My ideals often were too lofty (big goals aren’t bad).

I needed to be kind to myself, allow myself to falter and pick back up, and start small with tiny baby steps. 

Maybe being a great mom is just staying present in the moment.

Maybe choosing to be attentive to my spouse is growth.

Maybe the road to running a marathon is to break negative self-talk when I skip a day.

Maybe choosing one tiny step in the areas I want to grow is good enough. 

Maybe growth happens in hidden, tiny ways.  

I still set goals. I love goals. Yet, they are small. Manageable. I show myself grace and let go of all-or-nothing fallacious thinking, remembering that falling and failing are part of the process. I am always gifted with another moment to pick back up and try again, knowing that I am not alone and that progress is possible. God wants us to grow and expects us to grow, although I believe He desires us to be kind to ourselves as He is to us.  

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Heavenly Father, 

I lay all that I am and do in 2025 at your feet.

As I create my goals for the year, I contemplate Mother Teresa’s words, “I am a little pencil in the hands of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.” I am so small, yet you are so big. You’ve called me to commit “every single day” to all you’ve called me to. Yet, I often tuck away my gifts and dreams because they seem too daunting, but more and more, you draw me out and ask more of me.

My prayer for 2025 requires total reliance on you and the courage to step beyond the comfort of my own four walls to say “yes” as you continue to inspire my heart and call me out; you are guiding and leading the pencil of my life one step at a time. 

Overall, I yearn to live for your glory ONLY! When I’m tempted to move too quickly rather than listen and learn, remind me to sit at your feet first. There’s only one way for me to “send a love letter to the world.” YOU must be at the center of it all. 

I offer my 2025 goals to you, Amen.