One Hundred Phrases

I did not realize how nervous I was. It’s easy for me to race about my busy days: homeschooling, writing, cooking, etc. I’ve lived in “race mode” for a lot of my life. When my husband required surgery some time ago, I assumed life would stay the same. I functioned on this notion until I was sitting in the waiting room, anticipating the completion of his surgery. 

Then it hit me. What if everything was not okay? What would I do? How would I survive? Old fears readily settled in my heart and mind. I’ve encountered situations where everything was not okay, which caused my mind to imagine the worst-case scenario immediately. I quickly realized I was letting my worried mind get ahead of me. So, I sat in the waiting room and wrote. While my husband was in surgery, I wrote one phrase one hundred times. 

Writing is therapy for me. Yet, I’d never repeated the same line over and over until that day. Maybe it’s my personality, maybe it is a love of writing, or perhaps it was just a Holy Spirit-filled moment. I chose to believe it was the Holy Spirit. Consequently, writing one hundred phrases fed my soul, engraved goodness, and reminded me to focus on God’s mercy.

As a girl, I had a sensitive and somewhat worried personality. I remember being afraid to share my tender heart, tears, and worries in my uncertain world. I didn’t know how to express those feelings, so I shut down completely. 

I closed myself off to God’s voice and allowed my negative thinking to have a stronghold. Those negative thoughts creep in, control, and conquer our minds unless we replace them with a sustaining and life-giving substance.

Negative thinking doesn’t hold the stronghold it once did. Persistent practices of prayer, scripture, gratitude, and reframing my mindset (such as one hundred phrases) now govern my mind. When disaffirming thoughts flood my head, it’s easier to release them and regain perspective.

That day, as I awaited the completion of my husband’s surgery, I wrote, “Pray and do not worry,” over and over again until I reached the magical number of one hundred. Since that day, I’ve written “Love is patient and kind,” “train and practice,” “ rooted and grounded in love,” and so many more. 

What am I gaining from this practice? The ingraining of ideas that remind me of who I am, who God is, and who He calls me to be. It's not too different from memorizing scripture. I notice myself repeating the written words in my head often. I’m learning to hear more of His voice. This practice gives me a glimpse of His enduring love. 

On the days I feel impatient with my children, I'm reminded of the day I wrote, “You are a good mom,” one hundred times. I believe God made me a good mom, so I can trust those words and alter my behavior. My attitude and actions modify my thinking, even if just a bit.

I don’t know how long I’ll maintain this practice. Sometimes, I grab onto a practice and need it for a short time. Some practices last many years or a lifetime. Yet, I believe He gives us what we need at the perfect moment. And so, I will cling to this practice as long as I feel called to return to it.

My husband's surgery went well, and his results were favorable, and for that, I am grateful. Were my one hundred phrases just a means to ease my mind? Maybe so. But they were also a prayer, a cry out to God to guide me and to trust that whatever the results or life holds for me, I can continue to pray and not worry. 

Amazingly, my practice of writing one hundred phrases has positioned me to receive grace in mini lines throughout my busy days —“ live in gratitude,” “seek beauty,” “thank you,” “be not afraid,” “wake up,” “rich in mercy,” “surrender and trust”— and the list goes on. In His enduring love and kindness, I believe God clothes me in these one-liners to articulate His love and mercy every day.

How is God engraving truth, beauty, and goodness in your heart and mind? Whether you write one phrase or one hundred phrases, I encourage you to put pen to paper and allow God to orchestrate your thoughts.

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.” Psalm 37:23